In my last article "Relationship Traps To Avoid," I dealt with the obvious and often ignored dangers of relationships and “dating.” Now, in this lesson, we are going to switch gears and talk briefly about preparing for marriage from a spiritual side.
WORK ON YOU FIRST
While still being single, your best chance at marriage is in preparing yourself for your role in marriage. Getting married is going to change the way you live, and each sex has their own issues to work on.
For the Man; he is the provider and priest of the home. He should have a steady job, pay his bills. He should know how to pray, fast and walk with God. He should know how to love his wife and treat her with respect. He should also be submissive to authority that is over him at church and work.
For the Lady; she is the keeper of her home and family. She should know how to take care of kids, cook and handle finances if needs be. She is to provide a loving and godly environment for her kids and for her husband to come home to. She should also be respectful and supportive of her husband.
To prepare for marriage, is to prepare for those things I mentioned above for each sex. Do you have to be perfect at it… NO! But, you should have some good understanding and are at least doing those things to some degree.
If you are weak in your walk with God?, then, get that in order before you get married because things will get busier when you get married. Are you disrespectful, then you need to get with the Lord and get that issue taken care of, or it will surface in the heat of an argument and you may hurt your spouse. Strengthen that which you struggle with!
WHEN YOU FEEL YOU FOUND THE RIGHT PERSON
If you have done your due-diligence and kept your “euphoric emotions” in check; and after getting to know someone and seeing them interact with their parents, pastor and the opposite sex; you should have a real good idea of who they are. If you can separate infatuation and real love, you potentially are ready to seriously consider if this person is the will of God for you.
SEEK GOD FIRST
Both persons involved in this relationship should be willing to pray and fast to see if this union is something God will bless. A person cannot be too careful when seeking God. Time MUST be spent in fasting and praying if needs be to hear God’s voice. Consulting with your pastor is highly recommended to confirm God’s will.
Both persons involved should be sure what God has said. Both people must also be willing to accept the answer if God says NO. If it is not God’s will, both parties should split on friendly and godly terms treating each other as brother/sister in the Lord. If he says YES, then, preparations can begin.
Just a word of warning… Now that you both agree to be married, you must still be careful when spending time together. Maintain sexual integrity is of the utmost importance during this time. Many couples have fallen just before getting married thinking, “we are getting marriage anyways”, or they mistaking think, “we’ll since God has already joined us spiritually, we are already married”… not so fast!!! You still have to fulfill God’s word by obeying man’s law for marriage.
This is a fairly short lesson, but very important in your deciding on a spouse. This is a LIFE-LONG decision that CANNOT be taken lightly. It is a covenant to your spouse for AS LONG AS YOU LIVE!
When two people become one-flesh, they are joined together as a team to fulfill God’s purpose on this earth. Both of you may, or may not have children; however, both of you are still a family that can bring happiness and fulfillment as being one unit.
The success of your marriage will TOTALLY depend on your individual walks with God, and how much you allow God into your marriage. If either one of the spouse’s walk with God falters; trouble will ensue because that person will be walking in the flesh and not hearing from God. THIS IS CIRTICAL in a marriage… GOD MUST BE FIRST for a Christian marriage to work.
Stay tuned for the next article in this series!