The First Relationship
By Frank Hilton • ©Word-Spirit • All Rights Reserved.

In my article "Relationships In The Church Introduction," I briefly explained that this series will consist of being single, married, divorced and widowed. So, to begin the actual study we are going to look how God created the first relationship between Adam and Eve; and how God has structured marriage and what the relationship was like between them. And what God still expects it to today.

Before God ever created anything, He already had a plan in place and knew what He would establish on earth. When you read the account of creation, you notice that God created birds, animals, fish and insects in pairs... male and females. He also told them to re-produce on the earth. So, we can see that the process of reproduction was implemented by God even before creating Adam, and then after they were made.

When God created Adam out of the dust of the earth, He set him in the garden to take care of it. Then, God gave Adam the command to not eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. God also gave Adam authority over everything on earth and gave him charge over naming all the species of animals. So, as Adam walked on the earth, he noticed that each pair of animals looked different from each other... male and females. However, because there was no Eve yet, he didn't put much thought into as to why; nor did he become discontent because he had no "female." And that is because Adam was made perfectly and did not have any knowledge of sin or anything to compare another woman to; which would of made him "lonely" and discontent.

What we see from God's work with Adam, is that Adam was a SINGLE person before Eve ever came along. We don't know how long Adam was by himself, and because he had no knowledge of what a woman was, he didn't get discontent or feel alone. For Adam, it was just tending the garden and doing the work of God perfectly and contently.

Since Adam was perfectly content, he did not feel loneliness like we do today. However in Genesis 2:18, God says that it wasn't good for Adam to be alone and that he will make him a help (helper), that is meet (compatible) for him. The word "alone" in Hebrew does not mean "a void of loneliness" as some think, but it means to be apart, away from, singular; to stand by himself. We can clearly see that God's plan was, that He didn't want Adam to do the work of God all by himself. And since he made all the other creatures male and female, it was the timing of God's plan to bring Eve into his life at that time.

What we must understand is that God did not create Eve in response to Adam's "supposed loneliness" (discontentment), but God created Eve because it was already in God's plan to create her. However, considering that God said "it wasn't good that he be by himself" implies that, until God creates her (Eve), then his plan is not complete for them; and therefore not good for him to be alone. Compared to what he said after "each day" that he had made something... "it is good."

God moves on Adam to cause him to fall into a deep, deep sleep. He then takes a rib from Adam's side and creates Eve. God then awakens Adam, and God brings Eve to him. We don't know what their meeting was like, but we do know that they were not ashamed being naked. But, we can conclude that Adam realized that Eve looked a lot like him in most ways (bone of his bone); and that God had made her for him. It's even possible God spoke to Adam and told him, that she was for him.

We may not have a lot of scripture to tell us how their relationship was, but we can conclude by what other scriptures teach about men and women, what nature teaches and how human love is kindled. We also know how both of them were without any sin or any knowledge of good and evil... their human lives were perfect... perfect love, a perfect bond, and a perfect relationship.

Later in Genesis 2:24, it mentions that man is to leave his father and mother and "cleave" unto his wife. The "CLEAVING" is an emotional, phychological, intimate and spiritual bonding. When God brought Adam and Eve together, the union was a bonding that was to last a life-time. This cleaving and bonding is what is called a marriage.

Since we don't have a lot of information as to what Adam and Eve did as a married couple, lets just imagine only what has transpired up until now; without any knowledge of the devil and the fall. At the least, Adam and Eve were co-equal in working in the garden. Eve was given to Adam to help him, and to be a companion to him. They both had dominion over all the earth and naming all the creatures. That was it... eat, sleep, tend to the garden and name animals and talk to each other.

Now, we must address their physical relationship as a couple. We have no record that they consummated their marriage through intimacy before the fall; they could have, but we don't know for sure. So, for the sake of sticking to chronological events, we are going to assume that they didn't "know" (intimately) each other before the fall. And based on that viewpoint, we then must conclude that they bonded spiritually and emotionally first, which is a good principle to understand... Love, care and emotional bonding should always proceed the "intimate" consummation of a marriage (more on this later in series).

The bond of marriage between them was not tainted by sin, lust or selfishness. I am sure when they both looked into each other's eyes, they felt their spirits were joined together, and then the emotion of love followed. Because they were perfect at that time of life, their love was very deep and pure.

As we wrap up this brief study on Adam and Eve, we get a glimpse of the perfect relationship that was built on God, love and emotions, and which was not tainted by sin. Adam and Eve were workers together for God on the earth as a co-equal, compatible couple. There was no, "husband is the head of the house and women must submit" mindset before the fall of Adam and Eve.

We also need to understand that the most important bonding attributes between a married couple is a spiritual and emotional bond. This bonding MUST take place first in every marriage way before the physical act of intimacy; or a marriage could fail after the physical side has worn off.

As we conclude this part of the study, we can clearly see that Marriage was designed to be a union between a man and a woman that are compatible for each other, who are joined by a bond of love and purpose. This union was the ONLY perfect marriage example in scripture because after the fall of Adam and Eve, the demonic world worked into the lives of humanity.

Read: Sin Changes The Course of Relationships

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Rom 12:1-2)
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